Help! My parents take their anger with each other out on me. How can I deal with this?

Dear Friend,

I am going through a difficult time. My parents argue a lot, and my mum takes out her frustration by getting angry with me. It stresses me out and makes me feel very bad. I also feel lonely. How can I deal with all of this?

Sincerely, On Eggshells

Dear Eggshells,

I am sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time. It can be overwhelming and distressing when there is constant tension at home.

First, remember that this is not your fault. Parents are humans too, and they struggle to handle conflict and emotions. This does not excuse them from taking out their anger on you.

Here is how we suggest you communicate with your parents:

Choose the right time

Find a peaceful moment to talk to your parents about how their arguments affect you. Avoid bringing it up during or after a conflict, as emotions may run high.

Express your feelings

This can help your parents see things from your perspective. Use “I” statements to express how their arguing makes you feel. For example, say, “I feel sad and anxious when I hear you argue,” instead of blaming them directly.

Try calmly telling your mother that directing her anger towards you is distressing for you. Since parents generally want their children to do well academically, you can even appeal to them by explaining how the arguments affect your ability to study and focus on school.

Give gentle suggestions

You can suggest they find places outside the home to have difficult conversations or to do it when you are not around.

If your parents continue to argue and take their anger out on you, here are tips for coping with the challenging situation:

Create your own space

Distance yourself physically and find a quiet place to retreat when things get overwhelming. Go for a walk in the park or spend time in another room. Make it a personal space where you can recharge and feel safe.

Develop healthy outlets

Spend time doing activities that bring you joy and direction, such as exercise, listening to music, drawing or writing in a journal. These outlets can provide distraction, help you process your emotions and improve your mood. Deep breathing or meditation might also help reduce your stress.

Seek external support

If you are feeling lonely, start building connections. Whether it is talking to a friend, family member or teacher, sharing your feelings with someone you trust can provide emotional relief and perspective.

If you try these tips and still find it hard to cope with the situation at home, consider contacting a mental health professional who can offer you guidance.

At the end of the day, you can do your best to share your feelings with your parents, but it is ultimately their responsibility to change. Avoid blaming yourself if they are not working to improve their communication skills.

Dealing with parental conflict is challenging, so it is essential to prioritise your well-being. Remember that you are not to blame and are not alone. Take care of yourself and seek support.

Hope that helps, Friend of a Friend

Source: Young Post